Thursday June 21, 2012

Life is complicated. Short Answers isn't.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING

Dear Short Answers:

I just heard that my best friend's ex just got married. I'm sure she doesn't know. Should I tell her?

-- Alice

Dear Alice:

Of course you should tell her -- but wait. The time and manner will present itself.

MIRROR, MIRROR

Dear Short Answers:

My friend is in her 60s and dresses like she is 25. I think she looks ridiculous. How do I tell her without damaging our friendship?

-- Concerned about Appropriate

Dear Concerned:

Leave her alone! She's not applying for a job or learning "fashion basics." Are you sure you're not jealous?

THE YOGA ZONE

Dear Short Answers:

There are these two really hot guys in my yoga class. With all the downward facing dogs and bridge poses, I can't help staring at them and getting very excited. Everyone in class is noticing and I don't know how to block them out. Help! What can I do?

-- Woodied in Key West

Dear Woody:

Enjoy yourself. Everyone goes to yoga for their own reasons.

GROWING GROWN-UPS

Dear Short Answers:

I'm a single mom with a teenage daughter. I work in a bank, so I have to get up every day by 7 a.m. The problem is that my daughter takes two hours to get ready for school, so I have to get up at 5:30 just to start the whole process. I wake her

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up. She stays in bed for another half an hour. I wake her up again and have to nearly drag her out of bed. This happens every day. I tried just letting her get up on her own, but that didn't work. She slept through the alarm clock and missed school. She's 15 years old. What do I do?

-- Too Tired

Dear Too:

This is typical adolescent behavior, but that doesn't mean it should be ignored. These are the years in which parents need to help their kids understand what it means to be an adult. At 15, getting up and preparing for school should be her responsibility. Tell her to develop a "morning strategy" and that you want to hear it.

A SLIPPERY SLOPE

Dear Short Answers:

What happens if I don't get my car inspected?

-- Al

Dear Al:

If you don't get your car inspected, you will get stopped by a cop. When you get stopped by a cop, he might notice other things. If he notices other things, you will have to get a lawyer. When you get a lawyer, you know you are in trouble. When you know you are trouble, you start behaving recklessly. When you behave recklessly, your girlfriend will leave you. When your girlfriend leaves you, you will feel very depressed. When you feel depressed, you shut others out. When you shut others out, you are very alone. Get your car inspected.

VOTE WITH YOUR FEET

Dear Short Answers:

I recently stopped talking to a guy I had been dating because he wasn't ready to treat me with the respect I know I deserve (e.g., plan dates in advance. ... I mean, come on). Why is he an idiot?

-- I Quit

Dear Quit:

We don't know why he is an idiot, but clearly you're no fool. You did the right thing.

IT'S A WONDER

Dear Short Answers:

What is love?

-- Grasshopper

Dear Grasshopper:

Love is the inspiration, inclination and intention to be careful with another.

Send your questions anonymously on our website (www.shortanswers.net) or email them to thetranscript@shortanswers.net. Jeff Johnson has worked as a psychologist for New York State, New York City and the federal government as well as teaching at the graduate level. He is a Williams College alumnus and lives in Pownal, Vt. Paula Forman has worked as a professional "trend spotter" with high-profile clients such as Procter & Gamble. More recently, she taught sociology in the New York City university system. She lives and writes in Hudson, N.Y.