Life is complicated. Short Answers isn’t.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Dear Short Answers:
I have a friend who is becoming hard of hearing. It’s becoming extremely frustrating to socialize with him when we’re out. Other friends feel the same way. Should I tell him that we’re all having a problem with his "problem" or what? What should I do?
-- What? I can’t hear you!
Dear What?:
First, you have to consider whether you and your friends all mumble or talk at the same time. But if it’s really his problem, you need to tell him, but gently and when you’re alone. Most of us are in denial about age-related problems. So don’t be surprised if he doesn’t do anything about it. At least you tried.
BAD BOYFRIEND BLUES
Dear Short Answers:
My sister is dating a guy who’s a complete knucklehead. No job, no personality and tons of tattoos. We tried everything to knock sense into her. She recently moved in with him and it’s ruining her and her relationship with family and friends. Any advice?
-- Concerned Sibling
Dear Concerned Sibling:
Now that you’ve said your piece Š make peace. The decision is hers to make -- unless she is under 18. More negativity from you is likely to bond them together -- "us against the world" syndrome. Now grin and bear it. Perhaps the scales will fall from her eyes.
HOW
Dear Short Answers:
I would like to move out on my own, but I am the single parent of a toddler. How do I do it?
-- Treading Water
Dear Treading:
1. Get a job
2. Find daycare
3. Look for housing near No. 1 & No. 2
Good luck.
TRUTH OR LIES
Dear Short Answers:
We are gay parents of darling twin girls who were born through a surrogate. Our girls want to know about their "mom my." We say "you have two dads instead!" My sister says we are telling our daughters a lie. We don’t think so. Who’s right?
-- Gay Dads
Dear Gay Dads:
Lies beget lies. Sit your girls down and tell them the real story of how they were born. A lie is not a strong foundation for identity development.
WHY THEY DO WHAT THEY DO
Dear Short Answers:
Please explain to me what’s going on with all these politicians and their sex scandals -- and now even the head of the CIA. I say that it’s just men being men and who cares. My wife says if that’s true, then men are pigs and she will become a lesbian instead. Who’s right?
-- JT
Dear JT:
It’s about power. These guys think that they are so "wonderful" that the rules don’t apply to them. But this is not men being men -- this is a few men behaving badly.
IS HE OR ISN’T HE?
Dear Short Answers:
I’ve been living with my boyfriend for about three years and we really get along great. I think he is going to ask me to marry him. And I sort of want him to. But a lot of my friends think he’s really gay. What should I do?
-- Uncertain
Dear Uncertain:
Do you mean, you think he’s gay? You wouldn’t be the first woman to fall in love with a gay man, or perhaps a man who is unsure. However, if you and your boyfriend are honest with each other and yourselves and are in love, then tell your friends to button it.
TWICE BLESSED
Dear Short Answers:
How do I choose between two eligible bachelors?
-- Twice
Dear Twice:
If neither your heart nor your head is giving you a signal, then maybe they aren’t so eligible. Provide more data or "ask your mother."
Send your questions anonymously on our website (www.shortanswers.net) or email them to thetranscript@shortanswers.net. Jeff Johnson has worked as a psychologist for New York State, New York City and the federal government as well as teaching at the graduate level. He is a Williams College alumnus and lives in Pownal, Vt. Paula Forman has worked as a professional "trend spotter" with high-profile clients such as Procter & Gamble. More recently, she taught sociology in the New York City university system. She lives and writes in Hudson, N.Y.
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