Life is complicated. Short Answers isn’t.
JUSTIFIABLE HOMICIDE
Dear Short Answers:
In the past 5 years I’ve lost almost 100 lbs., and still have a long way to go (maybe 75 more). When I meet new people I know that they think I am fat and I overhear comments that they make. Some even give me diet advice or wag their finger at me when they see me eating something at a party. How do I tell them to go to hell? I am doing the best I can!
-- Half Way Home
Dear Half:
First, we congratulate you. You are awesome. We think you should say whatever comes to mind Š "your advice doesn’t interest me," "you don’t interest me," or "soon I’ll be thin, but you will always be insensitive and ugly." Or just say, "go to hell."
CAST YOUR NET BROADLY
Dear Short Answers:
I’m in my early 30s and I have a great job. I get to be creative and I work with great people. Recently, I feel like I am going through a "mid-life crisis." I don’t have anything outside of my job that I am passionate about. I have a great relationship, so I am not looking for love. But, I am looking for something ... more. The problem is I have no idea what this thing is. I don’t want just any hobby. I want to do something I am passionate about -- something that might turn into a career one day. I just feel like there is more out there for me and I have no idea what it is. Each
-- No Idea
Dear Idea:
Passions are rarely born fully formed -- they grow to the degree that they are nurtured. Try different things. Each interest is a colony that may grow to be a country. Beginnings don’t require commitment -- only curiosity.
IN OR OUT?
Dear Short Answers:
I just found out that a really good friend of mine made some porno movies that are on the Internet. It took me a while, but I finally found them and it turned out to be gay porn. I never knew that my friend had sex with dudes. But now that I know, do I tell him that I know -- about the sex videos and guy thing? Or, do I shut up and pretend that I don’t. It’s not a big deal to me, but I don’t know what he’ll say.
-- A Friend
Dear Friend:
It depends on how good a friend you want to be. Since it’s already on the Internet, he should know that anyone can see it. You should acknowledge that you have seen the sex videos. If not, there is a considerable distance between you. But don’t ask him for an explanation. He’ll give you one if he wants to.
THE NEW ADMINISTRATION
Dear Short Answers:
I’ve got a new boss starting on Monday. I had a great relationship with my old boss. I only hear bad things about this new one. What do I do to start this right? Advice?
-- Apprehensive
Dear App:
A new boss means you are reapplying for your job. Be cheerful, enthusiastic, helpful and do your work as you always have. That’s your part in making the new relationship as successful as the old one was. It wouldn’t hurt to remember the new boss is also "apprehensive."
GREEN-EYED MONSTER
Dear Short Answers:
My man’s ex-girlfriends are all over him still, and he thinks that I don’t trust him when in reality, I do not trust them. He shouldn’t trust them either because one of them is still head over heals with him and the other one cheated on him when they were together. What should I do?
-- Worried
Dear Worried:
You should get your head together. If you trust him, trust Him. Forget about the other women and enjoy your man.
Send your questions anonymously on our website (www.shortanswers.net) or email them to thetranscript@shortanswers.net. Jeff Johnson has worked as a psychologist for New York State, New York City and the federal government as well as teaching at the graduate level. He is a Williams College alumnus and lives in Pownal, Vt. Paula Forman has worked as a professional "trend spotter" with high-profile clients such as Procter & Gamble. More recently, she taught sociology in the New York City university system. She lives and writes in Hudson, N.Y.
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