Thursday January 3, 2013

Life is complicated. Short Answers isn’t.

HO HO HO

Dear Short Answers:

Why do I feel this enormous relief that the holidays are over? I feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted. Am I the only one who feels this way?

-- So Relieved

Dear Relieved:

We hear you. You feel free from the obligation to be social, generous, cheerful and the anxiety of all those expectations. Congrats, you made it through another one! And BTW, you are not alone in feeling this way.

REACH OUT
AND CALL SOMEONE

Dear Short Answers:

My kids didn’t even call on Christmas Day. What did I do wrong?

-- Mom

Dear Mom:

You did nothing wrong. They did. On the other hand, if you really wanted to speak to them, is your dialing finger broken?

DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO

Dear Short Answers:

Is it possible to quit drinking without AA?

-- Thinking about It

Dear Thinking:

Honest Answer: We don’t know. We have seen some people succeed on their own and some fail miserably. We have also seen people who have been helped by AA when nothing else worked. The important thing is to decide on your goal: Do you want to stop drinking? If you do, commit to whatever it takes. If you don’t, it isn’t about the technique.

FIRST THINGS FIRST

Dear Short Answers:

After I had my son (I’m a single

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mother), I went back to school and got my BS degree at the age of 45. When I returned to the work force, I applied for an executive assistant position in an advertising agency. I only wanted to be an EA for two years with hopes of growth within the company. I’ve had a few opportunities at my present job, but my rude, inept and obnoxious boss has blocked advancement. I’m miserable at my present job. I feel like I’m in an abusive relationship and it’s time to move on. I want to be happy with my job, personal life and life in general. I want to work with someone who appreciates me (hopefully in the music industry), who has a positive outlook and is willing to see my potential. Trying to find the right connection into the music industry is challenging. Any suggestions?

-- Tired Of The Abuse

Dear Tired:

You need to find another job now -- even if it’s another EA position at an ad agency. If your dream is music, then develop a plan to make it happen later. But in the meantime, don’t let yourself be a hostage in a bad situation.

WE SEND LOVE

Dear Short Answers:

It’s about a new year, but I don’t think I will ever get over the things that happened to me this past year. Why do people keep telling me to move on?

-- So Sad

Dear SS:

We don’t know what happened to you this year, but we believe that for the important things, no one ever "gets over" anything. We just try the best we can to process what has happened. Leave as much bitterness behind as humanly possible and keep walking. Wear your scars with pride. You earned every last one.

THE DOG ATE MY HOMEWORK

Dear Short Answers:

What are some of the best excuses to give your boss in order to skip work and play hooky, besides saying that I have the flu?

-- Need a Break

Dear Break:

Excuses are usually painfully transparent -- and making them interjects an inappropriate parent/child (or cat and mouse) dynamic to the workplace. Why not just tell your boss you need a break and arrange a day that is convenient for both of you?

AN EASY ONE

Dear Short Answers:

Is it always a good idea to say what’s on your mind?

-- Jack

Dear Jack:

No.

Send your questions anonymously on our website (www.shortanswers.net) or email them to thetranscript@shortanswers.net. Jeff Johnson has worked as a psychologist for New York State, New York City and the federal government as well as teaching at the graduate level. He is a Williams College alumnus and lives in Pownal, Vt. Paula Forman has worked as a professional "trend spotter" with high-profile clients such as Procter & Gamble. More recently, she taught sociology in the New York City university system. She lives and writes in Hudson, N.Y.