Life is complicated. Short Answers isn't.
SOUNDS FISHY
Dear Short Answers:
I had a party at my house last Saturday and a friend brought over non-alcoholic wine so that he could drink it at the party. I completely forgot about this and served him real wine by mistake. Of course, he got roaring drunk, embarrassed himself and is furious at me. He was alcohol-free for over 10 years before that night. What can I do to make it up to him? It was truly an honest mistake.
-- Mortified
Dear Mortified:
It's unfortunate that a person who has been alcohol-free for 10 years did not notice an unfamiliar (or perhaps too familiar) effect before he got roaring drunk. And, as host, you should be more aware of the inebriated state of your guests. But let's give both of you the benefit of the doubt. Apologize, and send him a case of his non-alcoholic wine.
MAKE IT STOP!
Dear Short Answers:
How can I nicely get someone to stop giving me a "collectible item" every year without fail. I had one of these items, and my husband told her -- a business acquaintance of his -- that I collected them and she has sent them for years after. I am embarrassed and want my closet back.
-- Meg
Dear Meg:
"Be careful what you wish for " Perhaps a sense of humor is called for -- or maybe your husband could find another use for these items.
LET IT BE
Dear Short
My boyfriend's mom loves me dearly and forwards me chain emails. We all know chains suck, but she is very narrow-minded and tries to spoon-feed me her Christian ideals and openly bashes the president of the U.S. How can I ask her to remove me from her mailing list while maintaining her adoration for me?
-- Running for Daughter-in-law
Dear Running:
We think you should just ignore it. You don't have to play the chain game, but there's no need to confront differing political views -- not with a potential future mother-in-law.
VOTING WITH YOUR CHECKBOOK
Dear Short Answers:
My daughter is 20 years old. My wife and I (mostly me) told her that when she got married, we would write her a check for $25,000 and she could do anything with it that she wanted. But mostly, I want her to invest it, save it, use it for a house. She isn't engaged or anything like that -- but how do I convince her that a big wedding is a waste of money?
-- Dad with a View
Dear Dad:
If your check comes with strings attached, simply say "this gift is to be saved, invested and/or used for a home." (You wouldn't be the first.) You are also entitled to say, when the times comes, "I do not want this gift used to finance a big wedding." But it sounds like you are way ahead of her.
CLOUDY, CHANCE OF MEATBALLS
Dear Short Answers:
I met this guy about two months ago and we did it on the first night. Now I live in Atlanta and he lives in Mississippi. Do you think our relationship will work?
-- Regretful
Dear R:
Sex on the first date, while not always a great idea, isn't necessarily the kiss of death either. The real problem is that sex creates the illusion of intimacy when there hasn't been time to allow trust to develop. Distance creates an additional obstacle. A relationship isn't out of the question, but you may not have enough understanding of one another to overcome the issues.
WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER
Dear Short Answers:
When will my employer let me take the entire summer off?
-- Over-worked
Dear Over:
Never. We don't think you understand why they call it "work."
Send your questions anonymously on our website (www. shortanswers.net) or email them to thetranscript@ shortanswers. net. Jeff Johnson has worked as a psychologist for New York State, New York City and the federal government as well as teaching at the graduate level. He is a Williams College alumnus and lives in Pownal, Vt. Paula Forman has worked as a professional "trend spotter" with high-profile clients such as Procter & Gamble. More recently, she taught sociology in the New York City university system. She lives and writes in Hudson, N.Y.
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