Life is complicated. Short Answers isn't.
CAVEAT EMPTOR
Dear Short Answers:
My husband will be having minor surgery next week, although it does require total anesthesia. I was planning a short holiday with friends. Should I cancel? He says no, that he can get a neighbor to get him home.
-- Looking Forward to Florida
Dear LF:
Are you kidding? If you go, you've handed him a club to beat you with so long as you both shall live.
FRAUD, PLAIN AND SIMPLE
Dear Short Answers:
For Christmas, I gave my niece a new computer because she is going off to college next year and her mother told me she desperately needed one. I just found out that she returned the computer for cash and bought clothes instead. I never would have spent that much money on her if I didn't think it was for her education. Am I justified in asking for at least part of the money back?
-- Pissed Off
Dear P O'ed:
We are as outraged as you are. But we think your niece's mom is the real culprit. First, she pimped for her daughter by telling you about the "desperate need," and then stood by when her daughter made it a bait and switch. There is no asking for a refund in cases like this, but we think you must confront the girl's mother and tell her in no uncertain terms that you object to every part of this story.
THE STUFF OF MOVIES
Dear Short
I recently moved to a new town and am having a terrible time meeting new people. It seems almost everybody in town is a couple. That's okay with me since I am not looking for romance. But it's hard to break into a world of married couples. I feel like the odd woman out. Any suggestions?
-- New in Town
Dear New:
A lot of baggage here. It always seems like everyone else is a couple. That's because everyone else doesn't know where to go or you haven't found it. Host a few informal after-work-bring-your spouse events -- and see what happens. Confide in a wife so they know you aren't gunning for their husbands. Then wait.
ONCE MORE FOR GOOD MEASURE
Dear Short Answers:
I've had many bouts with skin cancer over the years and fortunately I've caught everything in time. Last week, I noticed that a co-worker has developed a nasty mole on the side of his neck that looks very much like cancer to me. I mentioned it to him and he waved it off. I even gave him the name of my dermatologist but I doubt that he made an appointment. Do I keep saying something? Or have I done all that I can do? I know what denial looks like and I worry about him.
-- Not a Dermatologist
Dear Not:
You get to say it one more time after that, you're a crank.
WE'RE WITH YOUR WIFE ON THIS ONE
Dear Short Answers:
I used to ski a lot until my knees gave out and then I had to stop. A friend recently suggested that I try snowboarding instead. My wife can't stop laughing. She says that I will look ridiculous on the slopes with all the "boarder" kids (I am well past 50). At first I thought she was just being mean, but now I think the real reason is that she loves to have long ski weekends with her friends without me. How do I figure out the real reason for her rude comments?
-- Hurt Hubby
Dear HH:
Since when does a wife not get a good-natured laugh at her husband's expense? It's part of the package, darling. And if she likes to hang out with her friends on long ski weekends -- so what? Hint: Maybe you need to work on your sense of humor.
TAKE DOWN THAT TREE, MS. MARK, TAKE DOWN THAT TREE
Dear Short Answers:
When should I take down my Christmas tree?
-- Polly Mark
Dear PM:
Now!
Send your questions anonymously on our website (www.shortanswers.net) or email them to thetranscript@shortanswers.net. Jeff Johnson has worked as a psychologist for New York State, New York City and the federal government as well as teaching at the graduate level. He is a Williams College alumnus and lives in Pownal, Vt. Paula Forman has worked as a professional "trend spotter" with high-profile clients such as Procter & Gamble. More recently, she taught sociology in the New York City university system. She lives and writes in Hudson, N.Y.
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