Lord of the Rings
A wizard named Gandalf comes into possession of a dangerous enchanted ring. This ring, in addition to turning the wearer invisible, is a threat to all of Middle Earth as long as it remains intact. Furthermore, the ring is impervious to most attempts at destruction, and can only be destroyed by being dropped into the volcano at Mount Doom. Gandalf enters the Shire, where a curious race of small people called Hobbits are renowned for their interest in food. After enjoying a delicious meal, Gandalf leaves the Hobbits, summons the Giant Eagle who he is friends with, and instructs the eagle to fly the ring over to the volcano and drop it in.
Weekend at Bernie's
Two friends and co-workers named Richard and Larry are invited to a weekend at their boss's beach house. A Mafia hitman who their boss, Bernie, has hired to kill them decides to kill Bernie instead. The two arrive at the beach house to find Bernie dead. Understandably, they are terrified, call the police, and leave the island immediately.
It's a Wonderful Life
George Bailey owns a small building and loan company in the town of Bedford Falls, the last holdout against the wealthy businessman Mr. Potter who is attempting to buy up the entire town. When Bailey finds that $8,000 of the company's money has been lost, and needs to be paid back for a loan, he realizes that he will be blamed and put in jail. Despondent, Bailey heads to the bridge, contemplating suicide. He is interrupted by an angel, named Clarence, who informs him that Mr. Potter is a big jerk who has his $8,000. Bailey realizes that his problems are all Mr. Potter's fault, goes to Mr. Potter's house to demand the stolen money, and has Potter arrested.
A young boy named Aladdin is asked by the evil sorcerer Jafar to delve into an ancient cave to retrieve a mystical lamp. Aladdin discovers that the lamp is capable of granting wishes. Upon finding the lamp, Aladdin wishes for supreme power and the ability to defend the lamp and himself from any evil-doers. Aladdin then easily defeats the Sorcerer Jafar, marries the princess and eats a lot of dates.
The Wizard of Oz
A young girl named Dorothy Gale is living with her Aunt and Uncle on a small farm in Kansas. One day, they receive a tornado warning, and the family rushes into the storm cellar to avoid the dangerous high winds. Just as they are closing the door, Dorothy's dog Toto decides to run out into the winds. Dorothy, realizing that it would be foolish to risk her life just to chase a dog, enters the storm cellar with her family and safely locks the doors. The dog is carried away by the tornado, and Dorothy buys a new one the following week.
Billionaire weapons manufacturer Tony Stark is captured by terrorists. They push him into a room and demand that he build them a missile. Since they know he may be able to build weapons, they keep a watchful eye on him at all times. When they notice that instead of building a missile, he appears to be building some other non-missile object which could possibly used against them, they decide to execute Mr. Stark immediately.
Seth Brown is a humor writer, the author of "It Happened In Rhode Island," and is done yelling at the screen now. His work appears weekly in the Transcript, and weakly on RisingPun.com.