The better part of valor

Toward the end of last summer, I noticed that my car's air conditioner didn't seem to be functioning the way it should. While it would blow some cool air, it wasn't chilly enough to make it comfortable for the occupants of the vehicle. So as soon as this year's weather started to warm up, I took it to the repair shop.

Not knowing anything about air conditioners, I thought it was just a simple matter of adding more gas -- or whatever it is that they put in the compressor -- but as I often am, I was wrong. I should know by now that nothing is ever simple!

After waiting for over two hours for the necessary repairs to be made, the service manager finally came out and tried to explain to me the complexities of fixing an air conditioner. She explained that an auto air conditioner is an enclosed system, much the same as your refrigerator, and should never need more refrigerant unless there is a leak somewhere in the system, and they were unable at this time to find the leak. They reloaded my system with fresh refrigerant and added some dye that would eventually show where the leak is. They told me to drive the car for a couple of weeks and then come back.

For the two hours

the mechanic spent on the car, and my education on air conditioners, I was charged $162, and I still have a malfunctioning air conditioner. I don't know what the final cost of fixing the thing will be, but for the short period of time that I will be using it this summer, it will be an astronomical fee for the luxury of keeping cool.

Air conditioning is only one of the many extravagant features displayed on today's cars, but it has become as important as windshield wipers, and today's drivers can't live without it. By the way, it takes extra fuel to operate it, adding another expense to the capriciousness of owning a modern car.

I foolishly mentioned to my wife that we have owned numerous cars over the years that didn't have air conditioners, that somehow we had managed to survive, and maybe we didn't need one now. I allowed as to all we ever did years ago was open a window if it got too hot in the car, and the resultant breeze as we flew down the highway was sufficient to cool one off. That is, until you had to stop for a red light or slow for heavy traffic, but so what! Once you hit the road again, it was all sublime.

Then the mother of my children let me know in no uncertain terms the factual reason why air conditioners were invented. "Do you realize," she exclaimed, "what my hair would look like if I opened the window on the car while driving along at 50 miles an hour? I would look like Phyllis Diller on a bad hair day."

"We are not about to return to the pre-air-conditioned days," she stated emphatically, "and if we cannot get this car fixed, we'll get a new one."

Wisely, I changed the subject, remarking about how nice the weather has been of late, and maybe we could take a few days' vacation in Maine before the crowds hit the beaches. I'm not the sharpest tack in the wall, but I know that discretion is almost always the better part of valor. Mother didn't raise any fools!

Joe Bushika of Stamford, Vt. may soon be in the market for a new car.