Life is complicated. Short Answers isn't.
ILLNESS AS METAPHOR
Dear Short Answers,
I'm 40 years old and I feel like I'm falling apart. Every week there is something else wrong with me. I truly don't believe it's psychological -- I think it's physical and may be inherited. But I thought I would live to be 100 and now I think I might die at 50. I just can't figure out what's going on!
-- Sicko
Dear Sicko:
You should find a doctor that is a good diagnostician who can evaluate all your symptoms. But don't despair -- sometimes it feels like our bodies are letting us down, but the message may be less catastrophic. Perhaps a lifestyle modification would help.
TRUTH IN ADVERTISING
Dear Short Answers:
Is it wrong to look for girls on J-date if I'm not Jewish?
-- Gentle Gentile
Dear GG:
Not at all -- just don't misrepresent yourself as Jewish.
TIME FLIES
Dear Short Answers:
I've known this girl for 2-3 years and I have a huge crush on her. We don't know each other extremely well, but we get along great. She just broke up with her boyfriend of a few years and I don't know how long to wait to ask her out. This wouldn't be so much of a problem but she might be moving away in a year or so. I'm nervous if I wait too long, she may get a boyfriend or we might not be serious enough for me to move with her or vice-versa. What's your advice?
--
Dear Planning:
You're over-thinking this. Ask her out.
TAKES TWO
Dear Short Answers
About a year ago, my best friend stopped talking to me. And I have no idea why. We'd been friends for over 5 years. I have no idea what happened. He won't return phone calls or voice messages and emails. I've asked friends to intervene on my behalf but they say that Mark (my ex-friend) doesn't want to talk about it and says to never mention my name again. I felt bad at first. Now I'm pissed because I think he's being a baby and ruined a great friendship over something somebody probably told him about me that wasn't true. What do I do now?
-- De-friended
Dear De:
A friend who won't discuss why he is angry is not a friend. You are best out of such a one-sided relationship.
NEW RULES
Dear Short Answers:
I just started a new job and kind of hate it. I get daily calls from recruiters and it kills me to not follow the leads. These days, what's kosher in terms of how long I have to stick it out before I look for something new?
-- Just Marking Time
Dear JMT:
Well, we've been there. If you have (a) a reasonable track record of staying in previous jobs for a year or more, (b) you can depend on them for references, and (c) you can honestly say you have given this place a fair shot -- then go where the sun shines.
A TALMUDIC DEBATE
Dear Short Answers:
Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?
-- Have Loved and Lost
Dear Have:
Yes, Much Better.
Send your questions anonymously on our website (www.shortanswers.net) or email them to thetranscript@shortanswers.net. Jeff Johnson has worked as a psychologist for New York State, New York City and the federal government as well as teaching at the graduate level. He is a Williams College alumnus and lives in Pownal, Vt. Paula Forman has worked as a professional "trend spotter" with high-profile clients such as Procter & Gamble. More recently, she taught sociology in the New York City university system. She lives and writes in Hudson, N.Y.
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