Life is complicated. Short Answers isn’t.
WHO ELECTED YOU?
Dear Short Answers:
There is a new person at work who I suspect is taking drugs. He goes from quiet and nearly asleep to excited and talkative in the blink of an eye -- but only after a trip to the men’s room. His eyes also look very strange to me. Do you think I should tell my boss about this? I’m not sure if he sees and understands the signs.
-- A Person with Knowledge
Dear Person:
No doubt your intentions are honorable, but we do not believe in vigilantes. Unless you are the drug enforcement officer for your company, keep your own counsel. He will out himself.
HIGH OR MIGHTY?
Dear Short Answers:
I huff and puff and breathe very hard when I mountain bike with my wife at 9,000 feet and she is in the lead. Is it just the altitude or is it my wife?
-- Anonymous and out of breath
Dear Anon:
Sounds like you think it’s a bit of both. Are you the guy that has to win all the time, or does she have to be on top? These sound like questions for the two of you, not the two of us.
TEMPUS FUGIT
Dear Short Answers:
I am so stressed out, out of shape, overworked, misaligned, exhausted and overall unhappy with my life. I do nothing for myself, while my husband spends all his time on himself. I’m too busy with my crazy job and home responsibilities
-- A Little Lumpy
Dear Lumpy:
Time flies even when you’re not having fun. Do something for yourself now or you can add "bitter" to your list of complaints. Pilates or yoga is a place to start.
STRONG SILENT TYPE
Dear Short Answers:
Why do boys give such short answers when talking online? If they like you, shouldn’t they put effort into the conversation?
-- Gimme More
Dear Gimme:
Sadly, a man or boy who loves to chat is a rare thing. Their skill is putting out just enough to keep us interested. This is why we have girlfriends.
TRAVELING LIGHT
Dear Short Answers:
I’m falling deeply for a guy who I am sure is right for me. He brings out the best in me in a way I never thought possible (OK, enough gush) and I’m meeting his family (gulp) in a few weeks. But as we get more serious, it brings up insecurities from my last relationship -- which abruptly ended without warning. I find myself worrying that history will repeat itself. I know that’s ridiculous, but I still have this latent insecurity I can’t vanquish. Do I tell my current man about this fear? I seriously don’t think he’d want to know the details of my last breakup. How can I get over this on my own?
-- Wobbly
Dear Wob:
We get it. You’re scared, but are wise enough to know that no man wants to hear the gory details of your last heartbreak. This is what girlfriends are for. Just tell him that you are so hoping that his family likes you and that you will like them.
NOT LOVE, ACTUALLY
Dear Short Answers:
I really prefer having sex with myself versus having sex with other people. Is that a problem?
-- 40R
Dear 40R:
Not a problem until (unless) you are looking for a cuddle, understanding or some home cooking.
Send your questions anonymously on our website (www.shortanswers.net) or email them to thetranscript@shortanswers.net. Jeff Johnson has worked as a psychologist for New York State, New York City and the federal government as well as teaching at the graduate level. He is a Williams College alumnus and lives in Pownal, Vt. Paula Forman has worked as a professional "trend spotter" with high-profile clients such as Procter & Gamble. More recently, she taught sociology in the New York City university system. She lives and writes in Hudson, N.Y.
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