Life is complicated. Short Answers isn't.
NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS THIN FEELS
Dear Short Answers:
Now that the holidays are here, I am starting to panic about all the food that is going to be everywhere. I lost 50 pounds last year and I am desperate to keep it off. I'm tempted to decline every holiday invitation that I get, but that will just make me more depressed. Any words of wisdom and advice?
-- Almost Thin
Dear Thin:
If you had the determination to lose 50 pounds, you know what you're doing! Our advice: Buy yourself some new party clothes and enjoy your new body. Have fun!
THE SADNESS OF KNOWING
Dear Short Answers:
I always think I know the answer to other people's problems. I know when they are dating the wrong fellow, I know when it's time for them to change jobs, I know what they should do about bratty kids, and I know when they should go on a diet. I also know that they probably don't want to hear it from me. Sometimes I feel like I'm watching a car crash about to happen and if they would only listen ... what should I do?
-- Know It All
Dear Know:
We know exactly how you feel. And we sympathize. But nothing is more unwelcome than unsolicited advice, which you also know. Keep it zipped as much as you possibly can. You won't be sorry.
GO WITH THE FLOW
Dear Short Answers:
I hate "token gifts." I'm
-- Bah!
Dear Bah:
We get it, but in this case, you should follow the traditions of your friends and family. If you give it some constructive thought, inexpensive or homemade gifts can be fun to ferret out and can be useful or perhaps amusing. And if it makes you feel better -- go crazy with gift wrapping.
RUNAROUND DAD
Dear Short Answers:
My brother is having a baby (his first) in a couple of months and I think he's really happy about it. But he still hangs out with his friends and I am pretty sure that he's been screwing around with other women. I have asked him and he denies it. If his wife found out it would kill her. But if I tell her, it might make him stop. Do I tell his wife?
-- Stressed Sibling
Dear Stressed:
NO. You may not be right and it is none of your business anyway. If you are truly concerned, take your brother aside and tell him that the birth of his child is a fine opportunity to grow up -- kids need two adult parents.
RECIPE FOR HEARTACHE
Dear Short Answers:
Is it possible to be friends with your ex?
-- Missing Her
Dear Missing:
No. Although there are some exceptions, friendship with an ex is a very risky proposition. There is something inherently unbalanced in the relationship. One party is likely to be needier or more vulnerable, and the designation "ex" is the horse in the room. Person A is not the answer for Person B. This has already been established. Make new friends.
A VERY GOOD THING
Dear Short Answers:
What is a friend?
-- Insecure
Dear Insecure:
A friend is someone who you are happy to see and who is happy to see you. A friend is someone you feel safe telling your secrets to. A friend is someone who forgives most of your faults and appreciates your virtues. This is only a start your friend is some one who is special to you.
Send your questions anonymously on our website (www.shortanswers.net) or email them to thetranscript@shortanswers.net. Jeff Johnson has worked as a psychologist for New York State, New York City and the federal government as well as teaching at the graduate level. He is a Williams College alumnus and lives in Pownal, Vt. Paula Forman has worked as a professional "trend spotter" with high-profile clients such as Procter & Gamble. More recently, she taught sociology in the New York City university system. She lives and writes in Hudson, N.Y.
Font Resize
