Life is complicated. Short Answers isn't.
GROWING GROWN-UPS
Dear Short Answers:
I'm a single mom with a teenage daughter. I work in a bank so I have to get up every day by 7 a.m. The problem is that my daughter takes 2 hours to get ready for school so I have to get up at 5:30 just to start the whole process. I wake her up. She stays in bed for another 1/2 hour. I wake her up again and have to nearly drag her out of bed. This happens every day. I tried just letting her get up on her own but that didn't work. She slept through the alarm clock and missed school. She's 15 years old. What do I do?
-- Too Tired
Dear Too:
This is typical adolescent behavior -- but that doesn't mean it should be ignored. These are the years in which parents need to help their kids learn what it means to be an adult. At 15, getting up and preparing for school should be her responsibility. Tell her to develop a "morning strategy" and that you want to hear it.
MONEY TALKING
Dear Short Answers:
I have a friend who is successful at her job, owns an expensive apartment and only the best clothes. Every time we arrange to meet up, she has just come from her exclusive club or a spa. Then she tells me how well she's doing at her job and complains about money and the decreased value of her apartment. I'm mostly unemployed. I used to enjoy spending time with my friend but have been avoiding her. Should
-- Friend has Money
Dear Friend has Money:
It is almost always worth the effort and the risk of telling a good friend that she has let you down. But think through what you want to say and separate your money worries from her insensitivity -- they are two different issues.
THE FAIR FARE
Dear Short Answers:
I had my friend ‘watch' my car while I was on vacation. He didn't move it for opposite side of the street parking and I got a ticket. Should he pay for it or should I since he was doing me a favor?
-- Trying to be Fair
Dear Fair:
Of course you need to pay the tickets, and of course you need to find a new car watcher.
WANDER-LUST
Dear Short Answers:
I'm hitting my quarter-life crisis (about to turn 26) and have no idea what I want to do with my life. I really want to move abroad for a year or two and "figure myself out" but I also have tremendous student loan debt and credit card bills to pay. What can I do so I can ensure that I'm not missing out on my last chance to be irresponsible and youthful before I hit my responsibility era in my thirties. Thanks!
-- Wanabe Wandering
Dear WW:
The instinct to move abroad to figure things out is as universal as it is impractical -- a romantic fantasy that most of us find difficult to execute. Chances are, after the excitement of a new location and new friends wears off, you will be left with the same problem. But, if you really want to do it, then do it in a responsible way: Defer your student loans (you won't be the first) and figure out how to pay off your credit cards before you leave or you will create a gigantic obstacle for yourself that will hinder any new plan for your future.
COVERT OPS
Dear Short Answers:
Is it acceptable to watch pornography on an airplane?
-- Warming Up
Dear WU:
Sure, if you have a privacy screen or are in Business Class.
Send your questions anonymously on our website (www.shortanswers.net) or email them to thetranscript@shortanswers.net. Jeff Johnson has worked as a psychologist for New York State, New York City and the federal government as well as teaching at the graduate level. He is a Williams College alumnus and lives in Pownal, Vt. Paula Forman has worked as a professional "trend spotter" with high-profile clients such as Procter & Gamble. More recently, she taught sociology in the New York City university system. She lives and writes in Hudson, N.Y.
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