Life is complicated. Short Answers isn't.
CLOTHES MAKETH THE MAN
Dear Short Answers:
A friend of mine's husband recently passed away. He was very stylish and had a great many wonderful clothes (which I often commented on). I'm sure that my friend remembered because she has given my husband boxes and boxes of her husband's old clothes.
The problem is that they aren't the nice clothes. They are a bit old and stained and really unwearable.
My friend has asked why Derrick isn't wearing Ken's clothes and I don't know what to say.
So I have two questions: How do I answer my friend without hurting her feelings -- or should I just make Derrick wear a tattered old cardigan to make my friend happy? And would it be impolite to ask my friend for the good clothes? Derrick would happily wear those.
-- Clothes Remorse
Dear CR:
Tell your friend that sadly, Ken's clothes looked better on Ken. And apparently that was true. And yes, asking for "another shipment" is rude.
HOW ABOUT A FLU SHOT?
Dear Short Answers:
The people at work are dropping like flies -- because of this horrible flu. Of course, they all come to work and hack and cough and sneeze and then go home to bed. Would it be wrong for me to call in sick -- so that I can work from home and not catch someone else's germs? Isn't that smarter than getting sick myself?
-- Worried Sick
Dear
Unless your health is compromised for some reason you haven't mentioned, it seems a bit phobic to stay home to avoid contamination.
CREATIVE RESUME BUILDING
Dear Short Answers:
I recently started a new job. And I am embarrassed to admit that I lied about some of my experience. Now I am petrified that someone will find out. Do I confess or wait to get caught in a lie? Everybody seems to know everybody in this industry, and I know that sooner or later somebody will figure it out.
-- Sweating It
Dear Sweating,:
This is way more common than you think. Unless you are practicing medicine without a license, don't worry about it and focus on doing a good job.
MODERN LOVE RITUALS
Dear Short Answers:
Do I have to buy a present and go out to dinner for Valentine's Day? I hate having the calendar tell me when I'm supposed express affection. I feel like a lemming -- with roses in my teeth.
-- Reluctant Sweetheart
Dear RS:
We hear you -- and the same goes for Mother's Day and Father's Day -- but ignore them at your own risk. Maybe you would feel better about it if, instead of the expected dinner and something with hearts, you figure out a more personal way to say you care. A friend of ours is preparing a music mix that says he cares and another is planning a picnic -- in her living room!
STRANGE NEW WORLD
Dear Short Answers:
I don't use Facebook and I don't want to start. But it seems that lately, people are making their big life announcements on Facebook instead of telling you in person or sending personal notes.
I was the last person to find out that a good friend had a grandchild because she announced it on Facebook. I only found out recently that a friend's mother had passed away because she announced it on Facebook.
Can you tell people that good, old-fashioned communication is still alive and well and not all of us reveal our lives on the Internet -- nor do we want to communicate with our friends that way.
-- Traditional Communicator
Dear TC:
We hear you. Maybe others will too.
A LOT OF NOTHING
Dear Short Answers:
I have a terrible crush on someone in my building. He is way too young for me and he's gay and I'm married. What should I do?
-- Sue
Dear Sue:
Just because this is going nowhere, doesn't mean you can't enjoy the fantasy.
Send your questions anonymously on our website (www.shortanswers.net) or email them to thetranscript@shortanswers.net. Jeff Johnson has worked as a psychologist for New York State, New York City and the federal government as well as teaching at the graduate level. He is a Williams College alumnus and lives in Pownal, Vt. Paula Forman has worked as a professional "trend spotter" with high-profile clients such as Procter & Gamble. More recently, she taught sociology in the New York City university system. She lives and writes in Hudson, N.Y.
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